Teens Self Help

A medium to express myself and talk about my feelings, hoping to inspire you... "Believe in yourself, in the power you have to control your own life day by day. Believe in the strength that you have deep inside and your faith will help show you the way. Believe in tomorrow and what it will bring. For things will work out if you trust and believe there is no limit to what you can do!" (Larry S. Chengges)

Thursday, January 25, 2007

"The Art of Communication"

"Communication, the art of talking with each other, saying WHAT WE FEEL AND MEAN, saying it CLEARLY, LISTENING to what the other says and making sure we're HEARING accurately, is by all indication the skill most essential for creating and maintaining loving relationships."
Leo Buscaglia

I love Leo Buscaglia! He wrote some beautiful and powerful books that have definitely taught me some very good lessons to live a more rewarding and happy life. I love to read a lot, and through the years I have read some wonderful books that have definitely made a difference in my life and have inspired me to become a better person (wife, mother, teacher, friend...) We're all in a constant process of growing and learning - no one is perfect, of course; but it's truly a good thing to try our best to improve ourselves and to learn important lessons that will help us lead happy and productive lives and to be able to accomplish our most cherished dreams and goals. Yesterday, I was watching the Oprah Show and Gary Sukav (the author of "The Seat of the Soul") was the invited guest. He said something very interesting: we have to pay attention to our "intentions." We create our world with our intentions - when our intentions are good, the outcome is good; when the intentions are bad, the outcome is bad. That pretty much sums it all up. When we're trying to communicate with others, let's pay attention to our intentions too.

Is it easy to have good intentions all the time? No! But we have to try our best; especially when we want to be happy, successful and accomplished individuals.

And what about "communication"? How many times do we talk and talk and talk and don't really listen to the other person, or don't really communicate our feelings, desires and hopes; or don't express our honest opinions? Or are afraid to feel vulnerable. Granted, there are times when we don't want to hurt someone's feelings and it's best to keep some of our feelings inside (when the other person is very sensitive and will take things too personally, or we know they are not ready to hear the truth...) But, in general, we should try to learn to communicate properly. That includes "meaning" what we say and very importantly "listening" and "hearing. " That also means "being considerate" and not purposely hurting someone with nasty words or actions, with criticisms and judgements - we have to take in consideration other people's feelings and weaknesses. So, let's intend to communicate "clearly", with heartfelt "honesty", with "respect" and above all, with "LOVE." When others know that we mean well, they'll trust us better - our intentions do count!

As a teacher, I do get frustrated when my students don't pay attention or listen to me. When I try to communicate something and they are "in another world" doing something else and they completely ignore me. That to me is lack of consideration, disrespectful and selfish - and no matter how strong I am, want or try to be, it does hurt my feelings. We all like to be heard. So, let's make an effort to try to listen to others, to truly pay attention to what they're saying and what they're trying to communicate to us. Also, let's try to have good intentions in our lives, in our dealings and communications with others. When we become more aware of what we do, of how we feel, and of how others feel - we in turn will feel a lot better about ourselves and attract good friends and good things in our lives. Trust me!

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