Teens Self Help

Website connected to TeensSelfHelp.com. For me is a medium to express myself and talk about my feelings. "Believe in yourself, in the power you have to control your own life day by day. Believe in the strength that you have deep inside and your faith will help show you the way. Believe in tomorrow and what it will bring. For things will work out if you trust and believe there is no limit to what you can do!" (Larry S. Chengges)

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Focus on the Positive

It is so easy to concentrate on the "negative" stuff at times (or many times), that we must be watchful of our attitudes, conversations and thoughts in order to be able to change our "negative" outlook on life and feel happier. Every day, I hear many of my students complaining, whining, stating how much they "hate school," etc. etc. - that after a while it becomes very annoying, "draining" and distracting. To make it worse, complaining is contagious; right away you hear the other girls around them complaining too (and this also happens with the adults in the school - I also hear many teachers complaining). Of course we get frustrated some times, it's only human, but we have to make the effort to enjoy what we're doing (even if it's not our favorite thing to do or subject to study) in order to feel happy. We have to learn to love the things we have to do to accomplish our goals (at least learn to tolerate them); we have to stay focused on the "positive." If not, we will only make ourselves miserable and become our worst enemies. It's easy to complain and whine - but in doing so, we're projecting a "negative" image of ourselves to others (we're basically saying that we're a very unhappy or miserable person) and not many people will like to be around us. It is not the same to "express" ourselves than to "complain." Complaining evokes dissatisfaction and pain. We can certainly express ourselves without complaining.

Even when we have to endure the tough times in our lives, keeping a "positive" attitude becomes essential. It helps us to remember that challenging experiences will pass and make us stronger; that hope is always there, and friends and loved ones are always there as well. No matter how hard the trials become - "we will survive" and "this too shall pass." Challenges and trials are part of life - they're important lessons that teach us to become stronger persons. Our attitudes are our responsibility. We will always have the choice to be happy, optimistic and positive or unhappy, pessimistic and negative. It is really up to us! My suggestion: choose happiness and stop complaining! Embrace the positive! Learn to be strong!

And of course we have to learn to love -to love ourselves, to love others, to love life, to love God- in order to experience joy. Without love our lives are empty and meaningless. Learning to truly love, to become a "loving" individual, is our greatest challenge here on Earth. It's not easy to be "loving" all the time, which is natural; but we must try our best to choose love over fear, anger, hatred, resentments and other negative feelings and emotions, if we want to find peace.

One way to help us stay focused is to think of all the things we're grateful for in our lives - to count our blessings. Writing is also extremely important, in my opinion. It's important to learn to express ourselves (even if it's just in a blog like this one)! Write about your feelings and emotions, and try to analyze the reasons you're feeling a certain way. What is really behind that feeling? What is bothering you so much? Why are you so frustrated? Why are you so angry? What are you afraid of? How can you improve your situation? Are you just sleep-deprived? (Lack of sleep makes us moody and irritable). Or are you food-deprived? (If we don't eat well or don't eat enough our mental well-being is affected also). Concentrate in your good qualities, your talents, your goals and dreams, and keep working towards the fulfillment of these important objectives, milestones and plans for your life. Do this without "complaining" - focusing on the "positive." Yes, there are a lot of positive things in your life!

We also have to keep in mind that "negative" emotions will affect our health in a "negative" way (this has been proven already) - so we have to try our best to get rid of the anger, fear, frustration, worry, jealousy, anxiety, and other distressing and negative feelings and emotions we experience (the bad stuff that lurks within), if we want to feel better and get rid of stress. Stress is unhealthy and dangerous. Some experts recommend having a journal (or any notebook - even index cards will do...) where you can write about what bothers you, your feelings, your concerns and even about the things you're grateful for - positive things, accomplishments, successes, and the like, in your life. Others recommend therapy. Sometimes seeing an objective person like a psychologist will help you sort things out and their advice can be beneficial and inspirational (I worked in a Counseling Agency and became aware of the importance of "talking out" our problems and concerns). Talking with friends helps too. Others recommend "forgiveness" and prayer - it is essential to learn to forgive others for not being perfect and for having offended us; and even forgive ourselves for making mistakes and hurting others once in a while. Prayer can also bring us hope and peace, and a better understanding of how to improve our present situation (whatever it is). There's a lot of information out there - do your own research, read some of the great books available, and try your best to embrace an uplifting attitude no matter what! You'll see how quickly your life changes for the better and how quickly you attract more positive and happy people into your circle. You will undoubtedly feel better, in general, and will accomplish the things that are important to you a lot faster. Also, better opportunities will show up and it will become easier for you to find meaning and purpose in your life. Trust me!

Read my entries below ("See Beauty wherever you go" - April 25th, 2009 and "Keep Dreaming" - July 13th, 2008). Always have a dream in your heart! Also read Leo Buscaglia's books - they're great! He was one of the best teachers of "Love." Check him out at www.buscaglia.com.

Monday, May 25, 2009

POEM ON A CARD...

Every day has a chance -
A chance to listen,
To speak.

To hear the call of opportunity -
With which to begin
A fresh start,
A great day.

A new experience -
To feel,
To live.

To touch the heart of another -
And through this
A chance to be open,
To be free,
A chance to be yourself.