Teens Self Help

Website connected to TeensSelfHelp.com. For me is a medium to express myself and talk about my feelings. "Believe in yourself, in the power you have to control your own life day by day. Believe in the strength that you have deep inside and your faith will help show you the way. Believe in tomorrow and what it will bring. For things will work out if you trust and believe there is no limit to what you can do!" (Larry S. Chengges)

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Bullying and Cyber-Bullying - An Epidemic

It is really hard for me to believe that so many kids and young people bully others so much; but it's in the News everywhere. Bullies have existed all along in the history of humankind. There are people and youngsters who actually enjoy putting others down, demeaning them, insulting them, making their lives miserable - it is their way to feel powerful. It is really sad! The funny thing is that the biggest bully is the greatest coward. If they enjoy feeling powerful it's because in reality they are weak - very weak! They have problems at home, they have low self-esteem, they don't really like who they are. They love inflicting pain on others, because they believe this makes them stronger. They don't care how they're hurting others, they can only think about themselves and how they feel, and yes, this type of individuals feel better this way - hitting, insulting, demeaning, harassing, and dragging others down in any possible way.

Now we also have "cyber-bullying." So the bullying is not limited to the school or the neighborhood, it goes beyond that. It reaches further and it's meaner in many ways (when the taunting is non-stop). These behaviors must be stopped... we cannot tolerate this ignorance, this nastiness!

Bullies, like I said, have a lot of problems. They actually hate their lives, and themselves, in many ways. They're unhappy at home, they feel entitled to do what they want to do regardless of the consequences. They don't care who they hurt, because they themselves are hurting. It is actually a cry for help, but they don't even realize it - since they're in pain (but they hide it well). They are cowards that enjoy when people are afraid of them. They must be fearful themselves... (even when they don't admit it). Maybe they don't have a father in their life, or a good mentor, or a good family, or their parents are dysfunctional (drug addicts, abusers, alcoholics, unhappy people), or they themselves have mental issues/problems. I'm sure they're many other reasons why they choose to be like this, but no matter what their reasons are, they're unjustified. There's no excuse (no excuse for stupidity)!

Wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bullying) mentions that "bullying consists of three basic types of abuse – emotional, verbal, and physical. It typically involves subtle methods of coercion such as intimidation. Bullying can be defined in many different ways. Bullying ranges from simple one-on-one bullying to more complex bullying in which the bully may have one or more 'lieutenants' who may seem to be willing to assist the primary bully in his bullying activities. Bullying in school and the workplace is also referred to as peer abuse. Bullying can occur in any context in which human beings interact with each other. This includes school, church, family, the workplace, home, and neighborhoods." Sadly, it is part of our human history - bullies have always existed.

If bullies were to realize and believe that their actions will have and are having negative consequences in their own lives, which is the truth, maybe they will reconsider their behaviors; but they're not smart enough to think this way. Check: http://kidshealth.org/bullies.html for more information on this subject.

My advise is: if someone is bullying you in any way, seek help immediately! Don't keep this to yourself, it will just get worse. Talk to a counselor, your parents, your guardians, a teacher, an adult you trust, a friend. You deserve better, you don't deserve to be treated badly in any way. You cannot put up with any abuse of any kind! Stay strong, but SPEAK UP! Remember: it can happen to anyone (you are not the only one dealing with this!) But bullies MUST BE STOPPED!

Other good sites: http://www.stopbullying.gov/cyberbullying/index.html, and http://www.stopcyberbullying.org/index2.html. And: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dkG00Czb4ho (one I just discovered on Facebook - January 1st, 2014).You can find a lot more online.

I wish you all the best, but whatever you do DON'T EVER ALLOW OTHERS TO PUT YOU DOWN AND DAMPEN YOUR BEAUTIFUL SPIRIT! Remember: you deserve the best! Of course, the hardest thing to learn in life is to not take things personally - but you must try.

Don Miguel Ruiz wrote in his book "The Four Agreements:" Don't Take Anything Personally!

"Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world (and they don't!), and we try to impose our world on their world."

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