Don't Take Anything Personally

How hard it is not to take things personally! You always find in life people that make you feel bad, that judge you, that criticize you, that talk about you (for no reason at all), that bully you. I know some of us are more sensitive than others. In fact, I believe that as I’m getting older I’m becoming hypersensitive, and I must try harder not to be affected by the words and actions of others (by the negative energy of others). I always remember Maya Angelou’s quote (which I love!) “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” It is so true! So we must try our best not to be bothered by the negativity and “drama” that others create and carry with them. We must try to ignore their "poison."

But how can we protect ourselves from such “poison”? How can we ignore these people? People that take their frustrations, anger, resentments, guilty feelings on others? People that love to make fun of others, that call others names, that bully others in different ways. They either lack empathy, or are in such “pain” themselves that feel the need to cause pain in others. Why? And now we have a president who enjoys doing this... bullying and demeaning others, not a very good example for the citizens and young people of this beautiful country and this world.

Don Miguel Ruiz, who wrote "The Four Agreements" and "The Mastery of Love" wrote: “Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves. All people live in their own dream, in their own mind; they are in a completely different world from the one we live in. When we take something personally, we make the assumption that they know what is in our world, and we try to impose our world on their world."

"When we really see other people as they are without taking it personally, we can never be hurt by what they say or do. There is a huge amount of freedom that comes to you when you take nothing personally. The whole world can gossip about you, and if you don’t take it personally you are immune. Someone can intentionally send emotional poison, and if you don’t take it personally, you will not eat it."

"As you make a habit of not taking anything personally, you won’t need to place your trust in what others do or say. You will only need to trust yourself to make responsible choices. You are never responsible for the actions of others; you are only responsible for you. When you truly understand this, and refuse to take things personally, you can hardly be hurt by the careless comments or actions of others.”

What a beautiful message, but so difficult to follow his advice. It is hard isn't it? What a challenge we have to put this in practice for a more peaceful and happy life. We can do it! We can arm ourselves with patience toward others, and fill ourselves with compassion, understanding, love and kindness. Let's try our best to put this in practice and not take things personally - just go with the flow and live one day at a time!

"Don't let the behaviors of others destroy your inner peace." ~ Dalai Lama

"How you make others feel about themselves, says a lot about you."

"You don't ever have to feel guilty about removing toxic people from your life. It doesn't matter whether someone is a relative, romantic interest, employer, childhood friend, or a new acquaintance. You don't have to make room for people who cause you pain or make you feel small. It's one thing if a person owns up to their behavior and makes an effort to change. But if a person disregards your feelings, ignores your boundaries, and "continues" to treat you in a harmful way, they need to go."
~ Daniell Koepke (check her online, she's a clinical psychologist and has written some great quotes)

"Some people will never get you... NEVER. When you accept that, you will have peace and inner direction."

"One of the ugliest things in the world is a human without compassion." 
~ Karen Salmansohn

"Stay away from negative people. They have a problem for every solution."

"Negative people give off negative vibes and are an energy drain. Surround yourself with positive people." (Womenworking.com)

"It's OK to dislike someone, but it is not OK to disrespect, degrade and humiliate that person." (Womenworking.com)

"Keep your distance from people who will never admit they are wrong and who always try to make you feel like it's your fault."

"The more you love yourself, the less nonsense you'll tolerate."

"Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone else that much power over your life." ~ Mandy Hale

"One day at a time

this is enough!

Do not look back and

grieve over the past

for it is gone

Do not be troubled

about the future

for it has not yet come

LIVE IN THE PRESENT

Live in the present

and make it so BEAUTIFUL

that it will be worth remembering."

~ Ida Scott Taylor

"BE SOFT

Do not let the world

make you hard

Do not let pain

make you hate

Do not let the bitterness

steal your sweetness"

"Try your best to stay POSITIVE."

Poisoned Minds

I recently ordered a book called "Poison Mind" - the true story of the Mensa murderer and the policewoman who risked her life to bring him to justice. This so-called genius (a Mensa member) killed his neighbor, one of her children and a grandchild by poisoning their Coca-Cola drinks, just because he was upset that the teens that lived next-door were very loud. I heard about this story on TV, and yes! I'm fascinated with crime shows (stories of murder)! It is so hard for me to understand how some people become so cruel and angry, and so "poisoned" - that they choose to inflict pain in others, abusing them and even killing them. Some people even feel pleasure when they hurt others (even doing the most inconceivable things). Mind-blowing! I like to try to analyze the minds of others. What motivates them to commit such crimes? How can seemingly "normal" people (or what we thought were normal people) commit such atrocities?

I like to ponder things (many things), and in listening today to Thich Nhat Hanh (a Vietnamese Buddhist monk, a beautiful peaceful person) speak about "Mindfulness," "Happiness" and "Compassion" and how we can learn to accept our suffering and become more compassionate and loving toward others, some questions arose in my mind: Can human beings become so "poisoned" -  embracing anger, negative thoughts, resentments, guilt, fear and other negative emotions so deeply - that they lose control or snap and do terrible things? Can people become so afraid that they feel justified in killing others? Can people have such little tolerance toward others, and such anger, that they see nothing wrong in killing, injuring, bullying or insulting others? I'm afraid the answer is YES to all.

And then, the questions are WHY? and HOW? (how did it come to this?) and what can WE do to enlighten others? Hatred, misery, violence are not the answers! I feel that it is our responsibility to do our best to nourish ourselves with positive thoughts and emotions, "to feed our happiness" like Thich Nhat Hanh said. To make sure that our minds are not so "poisoned" and brain-washed, that we see nothing wrong with hating and harming others (physically or mentally). I also heard someone say (today) that one of the hardest things we have to learn is to "love others that are not lovable." This also spoke to me, it is so hard to do! Our goal should be to become "loving" and "peaceful" human beings and all that that entails. Learning to be patient, at times extremely patient, kind, happy, unselfish, caring and understanding people, not an easy task! But so rewarding! We must try our best to avoid conflicts (including wars), through our positive interactions with others, communicating properly and avoiding confrontations. I know, life is hard, we cannot get along with everyone, we cannot be "always" happy; but we can make it a happy life when we learn to get rid of what "poisons" us. When we learn to appreciate what we have (the good things) and understand that it is our responsibility to make our lives happy, that WE CAN DO IT, that we can accomplish and create great things, and just try our best to take it one day at a time, being mindful of the beauty that surrounds us, enjoying our many moments, our family, our friends, nature, etc.

I remember that Norman Vincent Peale (in "The Power of Positive Thinking") wrote that inspiration is like nutrition, we have to take it everyday - "inspiration and motivation are exactly like nutrition, you have to keep on taking it daily, in healthy doses." It is our responsibility to do this!

We cannot feel like victims in this life (even if many terrible things happened to us). We have to learn to forgive, to let go, to heal, to become the best that we can be! We have to, again quoting Thich Nhat Hanh, "understand the suffering that is within us and learn to be compassionate toward others." We MUST learn to love ourselves! "Happiness is like love, we must feed it." We must "be fully present in the here and in the now." "Touch the miracle that you are alive." Learn to love your life or do whatever you have to do to love your life!

Louise Hay is also a wonderful teacher! She believes in the power of affirmations. Check her out! She gives great advice and has written some great books! There are many teachers out there, find them! Find inspirational messages in books, in magazines, in websites, wherever! Positive messages! Don't poison your mind with negative stuff (you can replace "stuff" for any word you wish, anything that diminishes who you are, that makes you feel bad and unworthy, that makes you angry, fearful or anxious). You are a beautiful person (we are beautiful persons), with a special mission/purpose and a spark of greatness within us! Don't ever give up!

Always remember that to be healthier (mentally and physically) we must pay attention to our feelings, thoughts and emotions. These can poison us if they are negative for extended periods of time. We will have them, it's normal, but we must learn to let go of them (whatever it takes without harming others or ourselves). It's easy to become our own worst enemy, like they say, and there's plenty of new research making the connection between our bodies, minds and spirit. If our souls, or minds, or brains, or deeper selves (if you prefer to call it this way) are sick with poisonous thoughts and emotions, our physical bodies will suffer too.  We could get physically (and/or mentally) ill. So it's imperative to "pay attention." Take good care of yourselves! All the best to you!